Coping With Starting Over Again

I am now in my second week of my new job.  Although last week I had training for 4 days I guess you can’t really count that.

I am going through all sorts of emotions as I begin this new journey. Fear is a very real one.  Starting over at any age can be a scary thing, but beginning a new job at 53 is down right frightening.  I find my mind just does not retain information as well as it did at 25.  I feel I have to work harder to prove myself.  Maybe that is all in my head, but it’s there.  Just as I felt I had to prove to people 32 years ago that I could handle working in a factory, I feel I need to prove to myself that I can learn a new job.  Yes, I am afraid I will fail.  I’m afraid I will never be able to learn all the mail routes I need to.

Fear has  been a motivator to me the last 10 or so years.  Slowly the older I get I try to face my fears head on.  The more I accomplish my fears, the more confident I become, the more fears I want to conquer.  We find out how strong we are by facing our fears.

I’m happy that I am back in a routine.  I have been working almost everyday and there is something comforting about being in a routine of getting up at the same time and coming home about the same time.  It gives me the kind of structure I need.  I had major problems this summer while I was not working to get a routine down.  Part of that was because I was having a hard time dealing with all the changes going on in my life.

Guilt more or less paralyzed me for 3 months. I felt guilty for not making money.  Guilty cause I had all this time off and I didn’t get much done.  Guilt cause I didn’t do much writing which is what my dream was to do when I lost my job. I tried to put on a happy face, but most of the time I felt angry and depressed. I was even having trouble getting excited for my trip to Paris which I had waited 5 years for!

So I am hoping that since I have begun a new adventure that I will be able to find that everything else will fall back into place. Only time will tell if this will be a positive thing.  Am I scared?  You bet-scared to death.  Change is hard and I’ve had enough unplanned change the last few months to last a lifetime.

Life is all about change.  Without change we never learn to grow. Now I just want time to get back to life, a new kind of life. One with a whole lot of hair pin turns.  But then again how boring life would be if it was just one long straight road?

Subscribe and get My Free Ebook!
Get your free copy of "Enhance Your Life Through Travel" and you will learn how to gain self esteem, do things out of your comfort zone, find yourself, and connect with nature!
We hate spam. Your email address will not be sold or shared with anyone else.
Powered by Optin Forms
Please Share or Follow
Follow by Email

Leave A Comment

Let me know what you think!

Enjoy this blog? Please spread the word :)

  • RSS
  • Follow by Email
  • Facebook
  • Google+
  • Pinterest
  • LinkedIn
  • Instagram